Guiding Quotes
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” – Groucho Marx
“I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.'” – Maya Angelou
“No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?'” – Tom Hanks
“It’s almost like the better I do, the more my feeling of inadequacy actually increases, because I’m just going, ‘Any moment, someone’s going to find out I’m a total fraud, and that I don’t deserve any of what I’ve achieved.'” – Emma Watson
“The first problem of any kind of even limited success is the unshakable conviction that you are getting away with something, and that any moment now they will discover you.” – Neil Gaiman
Guiding Question (from a student): I’ve been let into a number of elite programs and activities, but I honestly don’t know why. I only see what I can’t do and haven’t done. It seems like everyone else is having a good time or feeling special, but I just feel frozen. What can I do if I never feel good about what I’ve done?
You are not alone in this. As you can see in our opening quotes, imposter syndrome is pervasive across various fields. Even highly accomplished individuals often grapple with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt—perhaps even more so than others. Today we’re going to dive into why these feelings are common and not necessarily reflective of one’s actual abilities or achievements. As someone who runs homerooms for individuals identified as profoundly gifted, this question has come up multiple times in different variations over the years. Let’s approach it with curiosity and fascination.
Research confirms that gifted individuals are indeed more prone to experiencing imposter syndrome compared to the general population, and it isn’t a condition that is assuaged for those in the profoundly gifted category. They often experience imposter syndrome for several interconnected reasons, which stem from their unique cognitive and emotional experiences:
- Potential: These individuals are often aware of their potential, and they feel pressure to constantly live up to it. When they perceive they haven’t fully utilized their abilities, they may feel like imposters who don’t deserve previous accomplishments.
- High Standards and Expectations: They set exceptionally high standards for themselves due to their intellectual capabilities. They may feel they should excel in all areas, and when they struggle or face challenges (completely normal and common in any intellectual profile), they misperceive it as failure.
- Social Comparison: Gifted individuals may compare themselves to others who are also high achievers, leading to feelings of inadequacy. This can undermine their self-confidence and reinforce imposter feelings (I offer an additional class on this topic alone, especially for driven personalities prone to motivating themselves with upward comparison).
- Rejecting Positive Feedback: Despite their achievements, gifted individuals may struggle to internalize positive feedback or recognition. They may discount their successes as luck or attribute them to external factors.
- Unique Learning and Social Challenges: These individuals may face challenges in academic and social settings that others may not fully understand or appreciate. These challenges can contribute to feelings of isolation and self-doubt (the benefit of connection is one of the many reasons I continued to develop the homerooms, even after the pandemic was over).
- Overthinking and Analysis Paralysis: Gifted individuals often have a heightened ability to analyze situations and outcomes, which can lead to overthinking decisions. (I offer an additional class just on decision making, especially for those prone to perfectionism. We discuss why creative activities with no right or wrong answer can help develop confidence while making decisions).
Dealing with imposter syndrome can be challenging, especially when you’ve achieved success but struggle to internalize it or believe in your own accomplishments. When imposter syndrome is present in highly accomplished individuals, it is often a complex interplay of high standards, perfectionism, social comparison, fear of failure, and the unique challenges they face in navigating unique intellectual and emotional worlds. Recognizing these factors and actively working on building self-compassion, realistic self-appraisal, and seeking support can help mitigate imposter feelings and foster a healthier sense of self.
“Impostor syndrome says, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s only a matter of time until everyone finds out.’ Growth mindset says, ‘I don’t know what I’m doing yet. It’s only a matter of time until I figure it out.’ Scaffolding gives you the support you need to figure it out.” – Adam Grant
Some strategies to help:
- Normalize Imperfection: It’s normal to have areas where you feel less confident or where you haven’t achieved as much as you’d like. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, especially your classmates and mentors with twice-exceptionality. Embrace asynchronicity in yourself and others.
- Seek Mentorship: Connect with mentors or role models who can offer guidance based on their own experiences. Share your feelings with them, and they can provide encouragement and help you navigate feelings of self-doubt.
- Recognize Your Achievements: Take time to actually acknowledge your accomplishments, no matter how small. Have an honest private moment. Make a list of your achievements and remind yourself of the hard work and effort that went into reaching them. (Activity: consider creating a “done list” instead of a “to-do” list. Use this as a tool to remind yourself of your capabilities during moments of self-doubt.)
- Challenge Negative Thoughts: When feelings of inadequacy arise, challenge them with evidence. Reflect on positive feedback or recognition you’ve received from mentors, teachers, or peers. (Some people create a “feel good” folder or Google doc to keep track of these moments.)
- Set Realistic Standards: Avoid comparing yourself to others or setting unrealistic expectations. Shift your mindset from seeking validation to embracing opportunities for learning and personal development. View challenges as chances to expand your skills and knowledge.
- Practice Self-Compassion and Self-Reflection: Treat yourself with the same understanding and compassion you would offer a friend facing similar challenges. Acknowledge it’s okay to make mistakes. They are opportunities for learning and growth. Keep a journal where you document challenges overcome.
- Seek Professional Help if Needed: If your thoughts significantly impact your well-being or ability to function, consider seeking support from a counselor or therapist well-versed in giftedness who can help you develop coping strategies and build self-confidence.
How to Take a Compliment
It can be perceived as annoying or off-putting when someone rejects or dismisses compliments. It can create an awkward or uncomfortable moment in the conversation, especially if the compliment was genuine. Consistently deflecting compliments can be interpreted as either insecurity or fishing for more compliments.
- Say thank you genuinely without dismissing or downplaying the compliment.
- Trust the compliment reflects genuine recognition of your abilities or accomplishments.
- Appreciate the effort and hard work that contributed to earning the compliment.
- Consider the compliment as positive feedback and an opportunity to grow in confidence.
- Wonder what to say next (or how to switch the subject)? Think of a way to compliment the person back.
Optional Journal/Discussion Questions:
- Considering the guiding question posed by a student about feeling undeserving despite being accepted into elite programs, what strategies or advice would you offer to help someone combat imposter syndrome? How can self-reflection and building self-compassion play a role in overcoming these feelings?
- Reflecting on Maya Angelou’s quote, how do you think achieving significant accomplishments like writing eleven books could still lead someone to feel like they’re “running a game” and could be exposed as a fraud?
- Tom Hanks mentions the fear of being discovered as a fraud despite his successes. Why do you think even highly accomplished individuals might feel this way? What pressures or expectations might contribute to these feelings?
- Emma Watson suggests that the better she does, the worse her feelings of inadequacy become. How might success amplify feelings of imposter syndrome? What role do internal versus external factors play in these feelings?
- According to Neil Gaiman, success can bring feelings of “getting away with something.” What might contribute to this feeling among talented individuals? How does the perception of success influence one’s sense of imposter syndrome?
Go Deeper/Resources
Prediction of Imposter Syndrome in Gifted Female Students based on Ego Development, Self-efficacy, and Self-awareness:
https://www.behavsci.ir/article_180160_07363ee80f3435d533b7a0e3cfeb3dba.pdf
Twice-Exceptional Childhood Experiences Contributing to Imposter Syndrome in Post-secondary Faculty:
https://scholarworks.waldenu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=15043&context=dissertations
Perfectionism and the Imposter Phenomenon in Academically Talented Undergraduates:
Podcast: What You Still Don’t Understand About Imposter Syndrome
Posted in Social and Emotional Learning
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