In neuroscience, systemizing is theorized to be on the opposite end of a continuum with empathizing. It is currently assumed regional gray matter in the brain competes for these two processes. This is an important topic for understanding ourselves and others.
Part 1: What is systemizing?
Systemizing is a trait that every brain has to some degree. Systemizing is defined as an individual’s internal drive to decipher rule-based systems, manipulate variables in those systems, and predict or control system outcomes.
It is very insightful to reflect on the positive and negative consequences of this personality trait. While math and numbers lend themselves most easily to systemizing (from engineering to calories and exercise), creative thinkers can easily see systems in more abstract structures (like poems, songs, mosaics, and anything where multiple parts need to work together to form a whole).
If you look at the word system, it means a “whole concept made of several parts or members” with the Greek and Latin roots denoting a system as a “composition” with inputs and outputs as a central characteristic.
Latin origin: The word “system” comes from the Latin “systema,” which is derived from the Greek “sustēma” (σῦστημα). In Greek, “sustēma” means “a whole made up of parts,” often referring to a system or organized arrangement.
Greek roots: The Greek word “systēma” comes from “syn-“ (meaning “together”) and “histanai” (meaning “to cause to stand” or “to set up”). So, it literally means “a whole set up from parts” or “a composition of parts that stand together.”
In addition, a system is a conglomeration of separate elements working together to produce results not obtainable by the parts alone. Language is a rule-based system, mathematics and music theory are rule-based systems, writing a song or a literary work and getting all the parts to move together, rewiring a house, analyzing the engine of a car, checking your finances with money coming in and money going out – examples are everywhere. In terms of natural parts moving together – like solar systems or ecosystems or human-made inventions that are concrete and you can see them, like a school system or a coffee maker – these seemingly unrelated things are all brought together by their ability to be defined as systems.
Human-made invented systems may be conceptually abstract theories ranging from theories on family dynamics (where the family is viewed as a system) to multiple theories that exist in the worlds of behavioral economics and software engineering.
The added value a system gets is understood by the “pow” within the whole (compared to what may have been contributed independently by the parts). This extra “punch” and “pow” is created by the relationship in and amongst the parts, so how they are interconnected is paramount. This leads to variables and experimentation where you can test the different effects of different parts like a scientist (even in domains that may not resemble science, like the arts).
Part 2: What is empathy?
“When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels good. When I have been listened to and when I have been heard, I am able to re-perceive my world in a new way and to go on. It is astonishing how elements which seem insoluble become soluble when someone listens. How confusions which seem irremediable turn into relatively clear flowing streams when one is heard.” -Carl Rogers
For the sake of this discussion, empathy is defined as an internal motivation to understand other peoples’ thoughts and emotions and reciprocate with appropriate responses. This is different from sympathy and pity, which are characterized by the relief that you don’t have the same problems.
In short, empathy is a process in the brain concerned with predicting the behavior of others while systemizing is a process in the brain interested in predicting and solving problems in systems. They compete and the result is a key aspect of your personality.
The anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) is a structure contained in the corpus callosum, and it plays an important role in our ability to feel empathy. The hormone oxytocin (“the bonding hormone”) activates the ACC. Oxytocin is released when we come into contact with people we care about.
Empathy exists on a spectrum. Some of us are overly empathetic. Understanding what someone is feeling is not the same as feeling it for them. “Affective empathy” can become overwhelming (also known as “compassion fatigue”). Instead, try to be present. You may need to visualize your own “separateness” for a moment in order to be a skillful communicator.
Part 3: How do I work on my empathy?
- Practice Perspective Taking: Explore what a concept means for another person. Ask yourself what the experience is like for them. (Suggestion from my classes: Use literature and stories routinely as a starting point.)
- Refrain from judgment: Try to listen without assessing. (Suggestion: Start with music or any other pleasant sounds to work on basic listening skills.)
- Recognize emotion: Ask the person if what you are hearing and guessing for their emotions is correct. (Suggestion: Grow your emotional vocabulary.)
- Communicate your understanding about their emotion: Maybe this will be a long response. Maybe it will be simple: That’s hard. This situation is hard.
- Mindful dialogue: Become aware of emotions and sit in the uncomfortable state. Understand and trust you will move through it.
(Source: Theresa Wiseman’s Attributes of Empathy and Mindfulness Connections from Kristin Neff)
Become Aware of Things That Can “Block” Empathy
- Strong opinions
- Anticipation of pain or fear
- Burnout/stress
- Time on electronic devices (backed by research)
- Fatigue
- Hunger
- Anger and helplessness
- Extreme desire
Become Aware of Empathy Misses
Consider a time when something terrible, embarrassing, or sad happened to you. Imagine telling someone. Imagine the following responses. These are considered “empathy misses.”
CRITICISM: “How like you to mess that up.” “Saw that coming.”
ONE-UPPING: “This happened to me and it was far worse…” “So and so told me I’ve had it the worst…” “Can I use this as an excuse to talk about myself?”
THREATENING: “If you… then I’ll…” “Solve it fast or…”
DISTRACTING: “Do you want to talk about something else to get your mind off it?” “Do you mind if I make a sarcastic joke?”
QUESTIONING: “What were you thinking? How did that part happen? Did you throw me under the bus?”
ANALYZING: “I spot a pattern.. This is called… Look at your child experiences…”
INSTRUCTING: “You should…” “You need…” “Have you heard…”
ADVICE: “Have you thought of… What you need is… I know how so and so did it..”
PRAISING: “You are the smartest one. Look how attractive you are. You are right about everything.”
DIRECTING: “You’ve talked about this before. Move on. Get over it.”
SYMPATHIZING: “Poor you.. You did the best you could. No one’s had it worse than you.”
Now that you know how terrible and awkward that feels, below are some ideas regarding what to do instead.
Offering Empathy
- “Let me see if I’m understanding. What I’m getting is …?”
- “I want to make sure I’m getting it. It sounds like … ?”
- “Here’s what I’m hearing … Is that right?”
Requests for Empathy
- “What would be most helpful for me is just to be heard. Would you be willing to listen for a bit and tell me what you’re hearing?”
- “I just said a lot and I’m not sure it all came out the way I was intending. Could you tell me what you got from all that?”
- “What I just said is really important to me. Would you be willing to tell me what you’re getting?”
Inserting a pause
- “I’d like a moment to gather my thoughts.”
- “I’m not sure. Let me think about that.”
- “This sounds important. I’d like to give it some time.”
- “I’d like some time to take that in. Can we pause here for a moment?”
(Source: Say What You Mean by Oren Jay Sofer)
Creativity: A Mix of Systemizing and Empathizing
Creativity at a high level takes both empathizing and systemizing. It’s interesting to note creativity is positively associated with empathizing because self-reflection and understanding others aids in the creation of new ideas. However, the analytical abilities present in systemizing are what tear ideas apart, put them back together, and synthesize creations never seen before. The big take away? Watch both of these processes at work in your brain. Employ them wisely.
Optional Journal/Discussion Questions
- What are some of your favorite activities that involve systems (science, chess, music, math, and writing are examples)?
- Are there any special vulnerabilities to being extremely low or extremely high in both systemizing and empathizing?
- Is being high in both associated with creativity?
- What are your favorite tips related to increasing empathy?
- What are your least favorite “empathy misses”?
Go Deeper
Say What You Mean by Oren Jay Sofer (book)
The Pattern Seekers: How Autism Drives Human Invention by Simon Baron-Cohen (book)
Theresa Wiseman’s Attributes of Empathy and Mindfulness Connections from Kristin Neff
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2677592/
EQSQ Test
A quick survey:: https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/EQSQ.php
The types of scores resulting from this survey range from 0-54 for empathizing and 0-56 for systemizing. Different numeric thresholds assign you to different locations on a graph where these two scores come together. Five brain-types are inferred depending on where your point is on the graph. Individuals can be balanced between systemizing and empathizing (Type B), lean towards empathizing (Type E) or lean towards systemizing (Type S). Other results include extreme empathizing (Extreme E) and extreme systemizing (Extreme S).
The EQ and SQ brain-types are a beneficial method for describing major and minor differences in overall behavior.
The additional writing below comes from papers I wrote in college on this topic:
Even though I don’t agree with everything about the E-S Theory (including the “extreme male brain” theory of autism), I do think it provides an overlooked framework for exploring different personalities.
According to researchers, systemizing and empathizing are on a continuum in the brain arising because of different concepts of truth where concrete reality versus subjective internal experiences. There is a push by some researchers to use the Empathizing and Systemizing Model of the brain to increase awareness in therapists regarding mild autistic traits in certain anxiety-ridden individuals.
According to research, the absolute truth and rule-based cognitive style of many individuals with autism may be at the root of their many social struggles. People not formally identified with autism may exhibit these struggles as well. Therefore, when low-level autistic traits are present in an individual, these may be the root cause of another manifested condition or personal struggle.
Theory of Mind: You Think I Think We Think
Impaired theory of mind is also interesting to explore when considering giftedness and autism. We have to take the strengths of the high systemizing cognitive profile into account to see the odd middle land these individuals get left in considering social skills. To begin with, impaired theory of mind is part of the core diagnostic criteria for autism spectrum disorders. Theory of mind involves being able to see the desires, intentions, beliefs, and perspectives of others and experience them as separate. It involves empathy – which may compete with systemizing – as I discussed earlier.
Another study on the special social struggles of those who are gifted reveals more. Although above average in many domains, including behavioral self-concept and academic self-concept, gifted students are found to have lower self-disclosure scores. Being lower in self-disclosure is a hypothesized reason for these students’ loneliness because self-disclosure is imperative in order for close relationships to develop.
If a gifted individuals high in systemizing with rote memorized social rules find self-disclosure to be a moral dilemma – because they think being a listener is the “wise” thing to do, seeing another person’s point of view is the “wise” thing to do, or being emotionally controlled (thus pretending nothing is wrong) is the “wise” thing to do – they have essentially created an interpretation of socializing that is so morally strict it actually prevents them from connecting with others.
As you can see, there’s a lot to explore regarding this topic. When it comes to cognitive diversity, the E-S theory offers an interesting and unique perspective for understanding ourselves and others.
Posted in Cognitive Diversity, Social and Emotional Learning
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